


i love a mistake but you're harder to scrape

by Dresupi



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Auror Harry Potter, Banter, Beards (Facial Hair), Biting, Body Paint, Dragons, Dreams, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Ficlet Collection, Flirting, Fluff, Food Kink, Hurt/Comfort, Icing, Implied Sexual Content, Jealousy, Kid Fic, Kissing, Making Love, Massage, Mating Cycles/In Heat, One Shot Collection, Pregnancy, Short & Sweet, Smut, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, Soulmates, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-09-02 01:32:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 2,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dresupi/pseuds/Dresupi
Summary: A collection of Hansy short fics I've been prompted. Various ratings and subject matter.The first chapter is the table of contents.I will mark explicit shorts with an *.





	1. Table of Contents

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dwynn_5002](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dwynn_5002/gifts), [Joey99](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joey99/gifts).



1\. Table of Contents

2\. '[Gilded (pt 1)' for anon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776946/chapters/39368917#workskin)

3\. '[Confidence (pt 2)' for evolution-of-magic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776946/chapters/39368941#workskin)

4\. '[Scratchy (pt 3)' for pegasusdragontiger](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776946/chapters/39368968#workskin)

5\. '[Soulmates AU' for evolution-of-magic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776946/chapters/39369001#workskin)

6\. '[They All Want You' for evolution-of-magic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776946/chapters/39369028#workskin)

7\. ***** '[Body Paint; Food Play' for evolution-of-magic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776946/chapters/39369073#workskin)

8\. ***** '[ABO; Biting' for pegasusdragontiger](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776946/chapters/39369100#workskin)

9\. ***** '[Making Love; Massage' for pegasusdragontiger](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776946/chapters/39369118#workskin)

10\. ***** '[ABO' for pegasusdragontiger](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776946/chapters/39369160#workskin)

11\. '[Pregnancy AU' for pegasusdragontiger](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776946/chapters/39369181#workskin)

12\. '[How we met' for pegasusdragontiger](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776946/chapters/39369211#workskin)

13\. '[Farmer's Market' for evolution-of-magic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776946/chapters/39369241#workskin)

14\. '[Kid Fic' for pegasusdragontiger](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776946/chapters/39369253#workskin)

15\. '[Fake relationship' for dwyn5002](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776946/chapters/39369271#workskin)

16\. '[Dragons' for dwyn5002](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776946/chapters/39369280#workskin)

17\. '[Vodka-Mocha Cocktail' for joey99](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776946/chapters/42092135#workskin)

18\. '[Gingerbread Hot Chocolate' for dwynn_5002](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776946/chapters/42101738#workskin)


	2. 'Gilded (pt1)' for anon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One Word Prompts 2017
> 
> Banter, Soulmates

“Potter,” Pansy greeted him at the doorway, handing him a glass of something. The whole ordeal made him feel slightly sick. He wasn’t a fan of huge parties these days. Especially these high-end, gilded ordeals. 

“Parkinson…” he countered, replacing the glass she’d given him on the tray by the door. 

“Come on, Harry. Could you trust me this once?” 

He shrugged. “I dunno, can I?” He registered the hurt in her eyes and immediately felt bad. “Pansy, this is just going to take some getting used to…” 

“What about me? My soulmate is a bloody Gryffindor. You think any of my school chums are going to let me live this down?” 

He chuckled, looking down at his shoes. “Did I at least dress right? I’m not going to embarrass you by wearing last season’s robes, am I?” 

“Are you kidding? You’re Saint Potter. You could walk in wearing lady’s knickers and that wouldn’t be the first thing they made fun of.” She reached over to straighten his collar. The gesture was oddly touching. 

“Well, as long as I’m dressed appropriately.” 


	3. 'Confidence (pt 2)' for evolution-of-magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One Word Prompts 2017
> 
> Banter; Soulmates

Her meeting with his friends had gone about as well as his had gone with her chums. But he had to hand it to Pansy, she was nothing if she wasn’t confident. 

“It went better than I expected. I wasn’t cursed. Not once!” she exclaimed jubilantly. “I’ll chalk that up to a positive. I’ll win that lot over in no time.” 

Harry suspected it would take a little longer than that, but he supposed they had the time. What with being soulmates and all. There would be plenty of time for everyone to get used to this.


	4. 'Scratchy (pt 3)' for pegasusdragontiger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rewind Prompts 2017
> 
> Soulmates; Banter, Beards, Kissing

Pansy didn’t know what had changed. Just that she wasn’t nearly as concerned with Harry fitting in with her friends and was more fully preoccupied with the shape of his lips. 

He had a lovely mouth, now that she was looking. Really looking. His lips had a nice shape to them. And he had light stubble on his top lip. On his chin too. He’d been working for the past three days and hadn’t shaved. 

She reached out suddenly, running her thumb over his swarthy cheek. “Keep this…” 

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “The…beard?” 

“Yes…” she said. “I’d very much like to feel it against my face…amongst other areas.” 

Harry chuckled. “Alright…” 

“That wasn’t conversation, Potter. That was an invitation,” she prodded, winking up at him as his face reddened. 


	5. 'Soulmates AU' for evolution-of-magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU Prompts 2017
> 
> Soulmates, Soulmate Identifying Timers
> 
> (Unrelated to previous 3)

Pansy was watching her timer seconds tick down. Her heart was in her throat as the last ten ticked past. She didn’t dare look up, she watched as each second moved her closer to zero. 

He bumped right into her as the last grains of sand ran out of her hourglass, causing it to glow a bright red. He looking at his own timer while he walked. She gazed into his green eyes, his mussed up black hair, and that obviously Gryffindor necktie. Of course her soulmate would be a Gryffindor. 

“Sorry about that…” he smirked. She recognized him immediately by the scar on his forehead. 

“Harry Potter is my soulmate…” she mused aloud. “Well that bloody well figures, doesn’t it?” 


	6. 'They All Want You' for evolution-of-magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song Prompts 2017
> 
> Song is 'They All Want You' by Lissie.
> 
> Jealousy

****“What’s wrong?” Harry asked, still grinning widely as he offered his arm.

Pansy pressed her lips together momentarily. “Oh nothing. Waiting for that slag to hop out of your arse is all.” 

He leaned over to kiss her cheek. “You’re the only woman for me, Pansy.” 

She sniffed, her heels clicking as they walked toward the door of the restaurant. 

“Oh look…it’s Harry Potter!” Pansy heard the squeal as it cut across the room. Her shoulders tensed as he kissed her hand before dropping it. 

“I’ll just be a moment, Pans.” 


	7. *'Body Paint; Food Play' for evolution-of-magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut Prompts 2017
> 
> Body Paint, Food Kink, Implied Sexual Content

Pansy grinned devilishly, reaching for the pastry bag on the counter. “C’mere, Harry…” 

He laughed nervously, leaning in for a kiss when she reached for the buttons on his trousers. “Pans…” he glanced at the door to the kitchen. “Isn’t…isn’t your mum here?” 

“She wouldn’t set foot inside the kitchen…lemme paint you with this and lick it off…” 

“What if someone…” 

Pansy raised her hand beside her, muttering a few charms under her breath. One locked the doors, one muffled the sound…one was for other…contraceptive uses.

She raised the bag of pink icing in front of her. “Paint you? Lick it off?” 

He reached for the buttons on his shirt. “Only if I get to reciprocate…” 

“Well of course. I always share.” She winked.


	8. *'ABO; Biting' for pegasusdragontiger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut Prompts 2017
> 
> ABO, Biting, Smut

Harry bit down on her neck. Pansy shuddered in his grasp, her legs tightening around his waist.

Her hips rocked against his, rubbing her sex against his erection, her slickness apparent. 

“More…” she urged, reaching down to line him up. She was bossy, his omega, but he didn’t expect anything less from Pansy. When he entered her, he growled, biting down just a little bit harder. 

She exploded around him. All hot, wet tightness. 


	9. *'Making Love; Massage' for pegasusdragontiger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut Prompt 2017
> 
> Massage, Making Love

Harry’s hands slid down from her lower back, inching down over the fullness of her backside. Pansy whimpered slightly when two very dextrous fingers found their way down to the slickness gathering between her legs. 

“Getting excited, I see?” he teased. “Honest, I was only going to massage you this time…but you had to go and make all those lovely sounds…” 

Pansy grinned before pressing her hips back against his hand. She knew exactly which sounds he meant. He loved those sounds. 

“I love you…” she whispered. 

“Love you too…” 


	10. *'ABO' for pegasusdragontiger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut Prompts 2017
> 
> ABO, Swearing, Heats/Mating Cycles

Pansy yanked on her restraints, her hips rolling up to meet him. "Please… Harry… please…" 

He slowly moved his hand up and down his length, watching her writhe for a bit before giving his omega what she was begging for. 

“Tell me again what you want, Pansy…”

“Your cock. Fuck me… please? Please, darling, it aches. I want you. Want your knot, please…” 

He smirked and continued stroking himself. "Tell me _again_.“ 


	11. 'Pregnancy AU' for pegasusdragontiger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU Prompts 2017
> 
> Pregnancy

Pansy tossed the fourth and final Muggle pregnancy test onto the floor. They’d been easy enough to figure out. They had loads of instructions. But she still couldn’t believe all the little pluses that she saw for results.

She couldn’t be pregnant, could she?

If she was, she’d be a lot more upset. Or at least, she always thought she would be. She wasn’t. Not really. She kept smiling. And she honestly couldn’t wait to tell Harry. 

Who’d have thought? Pansy Parkinson. With a baby. 


	12. 'How we met' for pegasusdragontiger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU Prompts 2017
> 
> Describing how they met to their children AU
> 
> Fluff, Canon Divergence

“Well, I met her in the Great Hall on my first day of Hogwarts…” Harry said, snickering to himself. "First impressions don’t really matter, she eventually grew into her nose.“ 

Pansy snorted. "He was a scrawny, bruise-kneed, messy-haired twerp of a Gryffindor. That should tell you how charming he is. Convinced _me_ to marry him.”

Their children both giggled.


	13. 'Farmer's Market' for evolution-of-magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fall Prompts 2017
> 
> Fluff

“Could you please explain to me what we are doing here, Parkinson?” 

Harry yawned, reaching back to scratch the back of his head. 

“We’re on an errand for my grandmother, Potter…” Pansy looked down at one of the stalls, picking up an apple and hefting it in her hand. "She says the best apples come from this muggle market.“ 

He chuckled. "My aunt used to buy vegetables from a market like this on occasion…” 

She snorted. "I don’t recall asking for a recounting of your tortured childhood…" 

Grinning, Harry shook his head. "I don’t recall caring if you asked, Pansy.“ 

She reached down to slip her hand into his, squeezing slightly.


	14. 'Kid Fic' for pegasusdragontiger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trope Prompts 2017
> 
> Kid Fic, Auror Harry Potter

Harry was just getting around to cleaning up his office. As head Auror, he really needed to start setting a better example. Or that’s what his immediate supervisor had insisted. Harry wondered if he perhaps did need an assistant after all. 

He flicked his wand to set to rights the steaming trashpile that was his filing system, but then there was a knock at the door. 

_Damn it all_ , he thought sarcastically. 

Glancing up, he came face to face with a _very_ familiar face. Familiar in his bedroom, at least. Definitely not in his workplace. But if Pansy wanted to continue their clandestine affair and all the activities which were entailed in said affair _in_ his office, well… 

Perhaps that could be the kick Harry needed to clear off his desk. 

“Pans–” he began. 

“Please, Mr. Potter… call me ‘Pansy’,” she began, her eyes widening as her eyebrows raised. She glanced down to her left and back up at him pointedly. 

That was when he noticed the child who had followed her inside. A small slip of a girl, no more than twelve and in possession of her mother’s death glare already. 

“My daughter needs help on a report. About the Auror Department. I told her you would be able to _help_?” Speaking of the Parkinson death glare…

Right. Because as head Auror, part of his duties entailed dictating to twelve-year-olds about what he did. 

Well. Perhaps it wasn’t part of his duties as head, but it was certainly part of his duties as the secret paramour of Pansy Parkinson, if her haughty smile was anything to consider. 

“Of… of course!” he said, smiling in what he hoped was not a creepy manner. He summoned two chairs. "Have a seat. How can I help?“


	15. 'Fake Relationship' for dwyn5002

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trope Prompts 2017
> 
> Fake Relationship

“What should I wear?” Pansy asked. "Is this dress-robes, or casual?“ 

"Dress-robes,” Harry replied. 

“Ah. Well, you’ve come to the right place, Potter. I’m told I shine up rather well.” 

He smiled, his green eyes flashing just a little when he gave her a once over. "No offense, Pansy, but how much shinier can you be?“ 

She chuckled. "You’ll see.” 


	16. 'Dragons' for dwyn5002

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun Prompts 2018
> 
> Dragons

Harry’s hand moved quickly, pressing against Pansy’s belly as he put himself between her and the hulking beast. 

She might have been moved by his selflessness if she wasn’t so damn sick of him doing this all the bloody time. 

She stepped forward past his arm. Not taking her eyes off the dragon, she barked out orders. "Potter. Behind me. You’re injured.“ 

"Pans–” he wheezed, his arm covering the wound on his side as he hobbled closer to her. “Pans… that’s a–” 

“I know bloody well what it is, Harry. And it’s Parkinson when we’re at work, darling.” She sent out a signal up in the air. If she knew her dragons – and she was fairly certain she did – Lovegood and Scamander would want a look at this one. She just had to get her partner and herself out of here alive without killing it. 

Simple. 


	17. 'Vodka-Mocha Cocktail' for joey99

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holiday Cocktail Prompts 2018
> 
> Dreams, Flirting

Pansy’s face burned as she quickly walked past Harry to start the hot water for her tea. He was already running late for work, but that didn’t stop him from pausing to watch her as she wandlessly summoned a cup and put the kettle on the stove.

“What’s wrong with you?” Harry asked, circling back to wrap both arms around her middle. “You’re not meeting my eyes…”

“I’m meeting them,” she argued lamely. “Besides, I just woke up.”

“Mmm,” he hummed, clearly not believing her. “What, did you dream about me again?”

Pansy swallowed, her face reddening even more. She knew there was no use lying. But she did anyway. “…No.”

She felt him chuckle. “You’ll have to owl me at work about it, I’m running late. Do try and save all the lurid details for when I finish up, however. If it’s not too complicated, I’ll bring it to life when I come home.”

Pansy sighed heavily and looked over her shoulder at him. “Are you certain? If it made me blush, it must be something indeed.”

“I’m willing to take that chance,” Harry said with a grin, pecking her cheek.


	18. 'Gingerbread Hot Chocolate' for Dwynn_5002

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holiday Cocktail Prompts 2018
> 
> Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

Harry wasn’t expecting to see anyone when he arrived home from work. His skin still felt cold, and his head was foggy. Like it always was when he had to deal with Dementors.

Even though he was an adult now, and technically the head of the Auror Department, those things still managed to give him a fright whenever he had a run-in with them.

So, when he stumbled through the door, a frown permanently transfixed upon his face, the last thing he ever expected to see was Pansy waiting for him with a steaming mug of hot chocolate.

“Rough day?” she asked in a way that hinted to the amount of knowledge she actually had about that day.

But he couldn’t be bothered with how she knew. Harry was just so happy to see her.

And the hot chocolate.

But mostly Pansy.


End file.
